Why Am I Like This?

Do you ever wonder why you do the things you do? Because I definitely do… Like, why do I put myself through unnecessary stress? Why am I interested in people who don’t care about me the way I care about them? Why do I push away the ones that do truly care for me? I will never understand why I am this way. 😭

I mess up good things & I keep the bad things, because I have too big of a hope that people or things will change. The truth is they don’t. No matter how bad you think someone will change, they never will unless they really want to. My last relationship taught me that… (I feel like a whole book about what that taught me.) But still, you cling to the hope that things will change. You’re just so hopeful and think there are still good people in this world… Or you finally find someone good and then think you don’t deserve that kind of love or whatever they have to offer because you are so used to being mistreated and being with someone who really doesn’t care about you…

I just feel like I’m super messed up.. Being in an abusive/toxic relationship can do that to you, man. I’m glad I’m out of it, but it’s like that’s what I’m used to and I cannot accept when people want to treat me like I deserve… I hate this so much! I wish I could just be the normal Kristen I used to be… I mean, I did learn a lot from it, but like… I just feel like I’m going to repeat the cycle….. And I don’t understand why…

Like I know I am enough, but at the same time, I feel so insecure in myself and feel like I really can’t trust anyone due to how my trust has been betrayed in the past. I need reassurance. Constant reassurance.

I have issues, man.

 

I’m sorry this isn’t the happy stuff I usually post, I’m just kinda in my feels…

 

Someone chat with me in the comments below…

Don't forget to follow and like, y'all! 😀