Don’t Settle: Find Happiness

A big problem I have is not wanting to be alone. I’m sure some of you reading this feel the same way… We want to have someone by our side so badly that we sometimes don’t care who it is. Therein lies the problem. We need to care! We need to make sure we are dating or seeing (or whatever term you want to use) the kind of people that we want to be with for long term. Like, some people don’t want to get married, but some people do. So for those of you who do want to get married make sure the people you get with also want that. You can’t date someone that doesn’t want to get married and expect them to change their mind one day… That’s not how this works. It could always happen, but why risk putting so much of your time, effort, and love into someone who at the end of the day you probably won’t end up with. The same thing with kids! Do not get into a relationship with someone who doesn’t want kids if you DO want kids. That’s just a recipe for disaster.

My main point is, FIND SOMEONE YOU ARE COMPATIBLE WITH! Find someone who has the same or very similar end goals/dreams that you do! Make sure that your futures will work well together and all that.

 

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My problem is I am too worried about finding someone great that I am not really focusing on the things that need to take priority in my life right now. Honestly, I don’t even have time for a significant other with all of the things going on in my life. Having a child that you have to care for takes up a lot of time as it is, then throwing in work and college and my practicum class (kind of student teaching)… It’s a mess. I already have a hard enough time balancing everything, so why in the world am I trying to throw another person in the mix?!? I’m not ready for a relationship right now and that is SUPER hard for me to accept. Maybe some of you are dealing with that, too.

Another reason I know I’m not ready for a relationship yet is I am too insecure in myself. How can I expect someone else to love me when I hardly even love myself? I would go as far to say I hate myself most of the time. I know that sounds horrible, but that’s truly how I feel. I always think I’m not good enough and not worthy of love… Really a lot of my insecurities come from my past relationship, because I constantly felt and was told I wasn’t good enough.

That really hurt!

I also am a very sensitive, emotional person and being made to believe that I am nothing made me feel that way.

It’s crazy, though, because at the same time I know I am a freaking amazing woman and whoever gets to be with me will be lucky! It’s like I’m so down on myself, but super confident in a way. I don’t get how it’s possible… Anyone else feel like that? Some days you’re on top of the world and the next you are questioning how you even have any friends because why in the world would anyone want to hang around a piece of garbage like you? I know that’s how I feel. All the time.

I have been depressed most of this year. This was the worst year of my life. Not going to go into too much detail, but the highlight was my husband and I deciding to get a divorce. This was super hard because I loved him, dude. With all my being and I was treated like absolute… Not getting into it. But overtime after dealing with too much I finally said ENOUGH, and we decided to call it quits. The main thing that bothered me about this and the reason I stayed with him longer than I should have was because of my daughter. I always had this mindset of getting married, having kids, and being a happy little family… It did follow that… At first. When it started falling apart I was so confused, because I did everything right, or so I thought. And then to have it blow up my face!? Horrible. I just didn’t want to lose time with my daughter. I love her more than anything else and to know I have to share her now instead of us all just being together hurts my soul. I’m making it through, though, because I know it’s so much better this way than it would have been.

 

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My main point from this post is to let everyone reading (and myself) know that you don’t have (or NEED) to settle for anything less just because you feel like you deserve to be with someone crappy. NO! NO, NO, NO!!!!! No one deserves that! We all deserve someone who looks at us and tells us we are the most perfect human in the universe and that no one could ever compare to us. We don’t need to be hanging around people who make us feel bad about ourselves or push us to do things that make us uncomfortable. (There are times when being pushed out of your comfort zone is a good thing, but you know what I mean, right?) We must surround ourselves with people who make us feel happy! That’s one thing that helps: finding friends who actually care about you and you can trust. If you want something like the picture above, then make sure you take the necessary steps to make it happen.

  1. Fix yourself first
  2. Figure out if you are, indeed, compatible and if your futures and what you want in life coinside
  3. Date for a while to get a feel for each other and see how things go
  4. TAKE YOUR TIME (I rushed into my last marriage, and it deff was not what I needed)
  5. Always be yourself, if the other person can’t accept it then you deserve someone else

 

YOU CAN’T CHANGE PEOPLE!!! Only they can change themselves.

REMEMBER THIS!!!!!!! This is so important! 

 

Long story short.

DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WHAT YOU DESERVE.

FIND A LIFE PARTNER WHO MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU DESERVE MORE THAN THE WORLD COULD EVER OFFER YOU.

FIND PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU HAPPY AND THAT YOU CAN TRUST.

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Until next time, my dears! 💕

Anyone else deal with loneliness and/or constantly looking for your happiness in someone else??? Leave me a comment.

 

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4 thoughts on “Don’t Settle: Find Happiness

  1. I completely agree. SOmeday you will hopefully find what you are looking for! Don’t settle and you have to find someone also that will make a great step parent!! My wife had two kids when we meant. BAMB just add water, instant family!

    I loved her though. Those kids invaded my heart. in 18 years, we have had about 6 arguments. Yes, 6… I’m talking, GOOD arguments, lol. She is my soulmate and we get along better than best friends. SHe does grind her teeth in her sleep, I’m trying to get over that 😉

    Be patient, find yourself… You will find someone to love you ! 🙂

    1. Thank you!! I really appreciate it. Glad y’all get along so well! Haha. 💕

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